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How drunk will you be tonight
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Venegoor Offline

Captain
Posts: 36,511
Joined: Jan 2009
Post: #1
How drunk will you be tonight

if we clinch promotion today?

a) Mildly soused, to savour every emotion, and bearing in mind the job is only 50% done.

b) Relatively pissed, in that you'd even buy a pint for your hated brother-in-law, but still wouldn't drink in his company.

c) Well ratted. You can remember the drinks order, but are 1 stage below ordering Whiskey chasers. You even exchange corny, patronising banter with the village idiot in the red and white top.

d) Slurring drunk. You put your arms lovingly around everybody you have a conversation with, not so much as a sign of manly affection, but you'd fall over if you didn't.

e) Repetition drunk. You stare glassy eyed at your co-conversationalist, not letting them finishing a sentence, and re-starting your astute observation several times. The Whiskey chasers are now in play.

f) Hog whimpering drunk. You've already been for a 'clear the decks to make more room' vomit, and bits of chow mein and carrot cling precariously to your bottom lip and Toon top. You have reliably informed the Biffa behind the bar, that you find her devilishly attractive, and would be delighted to 'pot her Brown' at the first opportunity.

g) Teeth itchingly drunk. You're head is banging into inanimate objects, usually the chair leg and one armed bandit table, and you're 'conversation' consists entirely of "shc hiylly giglimps fuggin bassa'. There is a widening brown circle around the arse of your jeans, and in desperation and near drunken blindness, you mistakenly text the photo of your sister-in-laws minge to your wife/girl friend/ 'flat mate'.

h) You vow to get 'Ameobi' on the back of your Top for the 1st season back.
3rd April 2010 10:45 AM
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DML2 Offline

Youth Team
Posts: 886
Joined: Jan 2009
Post: #2
How drunk will you be tonight

I'll aim for a D but could finish further up the alphabetical index.

Where does the point at which you think Mike Ashley is the best owner EVER fit into this list or is it impossible to be that inebriated without actually then collapsing and dying?
3rd April 2010 11:19 AM
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countofbiarritz Offline

Chairman
Posts: 10,886
Joined: Jan 2009
Post: #3
How drunk will you be tonight

i) Drinking whiskey straight out of the bottle and encouraging the rest of the pub to join you in a crusade to overthrow North Carolina and claim it as an independent state with yourself as emperor.

Which will be highly embarrassing for my wife as she has plans to go to the cinema this evening.
3rd April 2010 11:28 AM
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Texasmag Offline

First Team Regular
Posts: 18,780
Joined: Jan 2009
Post: #4
How drunk will you be tonight

Pmsl at F and G.Big Grin
3rd April 2010 11:53 AM
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DevonMag Offline

First Team Starter
Posts: 5,042
Joined: Jan 2009
Post: #5
How drunk will you be tonight

Funny post Big Grin I'll be aiming for d), but may be exhibiting elements of e).
3rd April 2010 12:40 PM
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